Episode: 1 – Lazarus Rising
Dean: Who are you?
Castiel: I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.
Castiel: What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.
Dean: Why’d you do it?
Castiel: Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.
Episode: 15 – Death Takes a Holiday
Dean: What the hell?
Castiel: Guess again.
Episode: 16 – On the Head of a Pin
Dean: You guys don’t walk enough. You’re gonna get flabby. You know, I’m starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do.
Castiel: Uriel’s the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.
Episode: 20 – The Rapture
Dean: Cas, hold up. What were you going to tell me?
Castiel: I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve Heaven, I don’t serve man. And I certainly don’t serve you
Episode: 22 – Lucifer Rising
Dean: Destiny? Don’t give me that “holy” crap. Destiny, God’s plan… It’s all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It’s just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what’s real? People, families – that’s real. And you’re gonna watch them all burn?
Castiel: What is worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion… In Paradise, all is forgiven. You’ll be at peace. Even with Sam.
Castiel: My superiors have decided I’ve become too close to my charges and starting to show emotions, the doorway to doubt.
Castiel: Do you think the armies of heaven have nothing better to do but follow you around?
Episode: 2 – Good God Y’All
Dean: (On Castiel trying to find God) Try New Mexico, I hear he’s on a tortilla.
Castiel: No, he’s not on any flatbread.
Episode: 3 – Free to be You and Me
Raphael: I will find you!
Castiel: Maybe one day, but today you’re my little bitch
Episode: 4 – The End
Castiel: (Into cell phone) This isn’t funny Dean, the voice says I’m almost out of minutes!
Episode: 17 – 99 Problems
Dean: Where the hell have you been?
Castiel: On a Bender.
Dean: Did he… Did you say on a bender?
Castiel: Fake. It actually means, “You… um… breed with the mouth of a goat.”
Episode: 10 – Caged Heat
Castiel: If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?
Episode 21: – Reading is Fundamental
Castiel: Did you know that a cat’s penis is sharply barbed along its shaft? I know for a fact the females were not consulted about that.
Episode 23: – Survival of the Fittest
Dean: Hey, there. So, Cas, what’s, uh, what’s the word?
Castiel: Well, Dean, I’ve been thinking. Monkeys… are so clever, and their sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?
Dean: Not very.
Episode 8: Hunteri Heroici
Dean: What’s the word, Cas?
Castiel: It’s the shortened version of my name.